“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and
find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi
Being in conflict with the people we love the most can be truly painful. It’s hard to feel seen and understood when there is so much tension in the room, or it’s the same argument happening over and over again. It might be hard to break the cycle of defensiveness, anger and disconnect, which might be escalating right now. In couples counseling we will look at what’s happening in the room, and how it may be connected to past experiences and patterns that are influencing the present. We will work together to tease apart the tangles that feel like they’ve turned into permanent knots and find breathing room for the love between you to be felt again. Sometimes having these highly emotional conversations can be intimidating and it can feel hard to stay centered when it’s between the two of you. I am here to help you learn skills to listen to one another, identify needs and wants, fears, desires, and boundaries, and communicate them to one another in a way where it gets heard.
Issues I work with:
– Communication difficulties and feeling misunderstood
– Unresolved and re-occurring arguments
– Differences in expressions of intimacy, and the giving and receiving of pleasure
– Premarital Counseling
“I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.” ~ Virginia Satir
Below you’ll find some recommended books on relationships:
US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terry Real
Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch
If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl
If the Buddha Married by Charlotte Kasl
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson